November 2011
1 post
1 tag
October 2010
1 post
3 tags
Context Clues
Guy #1: I can't watch the YouTube videos because my speakers aren't working.
Guy #2: Well BOOOOOOOOOO to your state goverment speakers, Amen?
Guy #1: How you know my speakers are state government?
Guy #2: Because you threw around context clues such as "advocate" "council" and "The City of Baltimore" in the past 24 hours worth of email exchange.
December 2009
8 posts
You might be a state employee if....
You said you needed help with mailing something. Dropped everything - and left with a comb in your hand to get your blood drawn. (blank stare & flat tire wishes)…
The Universal Language of State Employees
Mississippi State Employee: I am so hungry...think I'm gonna binge eat and then go to bed.
Maryland State Employee: I wanna binge but all I have is dip (no chips) molded bread, and hot sauce.
Mississippi State Employee: I was right where you are last week #stateemployee
Maryland State Employee: lmao we're being furloughed. Can't afford food #stateemployee
Mississippi State Employee: They fired my supervisor, manager & director...I'm employee #1 right now...I'm trying to avoid the chopping block.
Maryland State Employee: dayummm that sucks! They're not firing us yet but we're taking a pay cut for 8 months.
Mississippi State Employee: Oh dayum...pay cuts right at Christmas...gotta love the state.
Maryland State Employee: yep...then they had the nerve to say our holiday party won't be catered this year & we all have to bring a dish. Fuck that!Everyone KNOWS Brenda in accounting has roaches!
Mississippi State Employee: LMAO !!!!!! We have a Brenda as well!
Maryland State Employee: lmaoooo I think all state offices do
Mississippi State Employee: Brenda's and Keisha's (and Keisha is the office hoe)
Maryland State Employee: omg yes! Stealing office supplies for her illegitimate son's last minute school project about the solar system.
Mississippi State Employee: LMAO...wait - I took a coupla rolls of invisible tape Friday so I could wrap Christmas gifts....#stateemployee !!!
Maryland State Employee: *DEADDD* I printed fancy address labels for my Christmas cards last week...I wanna use the postage machine but that's pushing it.
Mississippi State Employee: Ha! Yeah..the postage machine is pushing it..but, I love working for the state..I always have great pens.
Maryland State Employee: yeaaa I always order those fancy pens. When my co-worker 1st started, he had them order a $32 pen!
Mississippi State Employee: It's always good to sucker the new guy/girl into ordering the crazy shyt !
Maryland State Employee: yea or get them to cover for you on a 3 hr lunch break
Mississippi State Employee: DAYUM! I miss those lunch breaks..like I said, I'm employee #1 now. Going in 15mins early, staying 10mins late...it SUCKS!
"How [STATE] is it to be waiting in the DMV, and a...
November 2009
17 posts
You Might Be A State Employee If....
You’re eating last night’s leftovers out of this container for lunch today…..
1 tag
You Might Be A State Employee If....
You throw 5 inches of paperwork in a box under your desk so you can leave 15 minutes early.
Acrylic nails sound bite Peter Griffin sound bites
You Might Be A State Employee If....
…you told your boss that you had a “conference call” right before closing your office door and spending 3.5 hours explaining the Farmville App on Facebook to your friend via speaker phone.
5 tags
nail shop during lunch hour...
2 tags
4 tags
3 tags
4 tags
Ghetto vs State
Ghetto: La’Dawnya left outside with her rollers in her hair to go up to Save-A-Lot to pick up a box of ramen noodles.
State: ‘Nessa left out the house with rollers in her hair with the intention of running up to the Money Order place to pay her utilities bill until she was reminded that she had to also run up to the bank before they closed at noon to make a deposit, pick up some...
4 tags
indeed, they are.
Employee 1: what you doing?
Employee 2: watching Ugly Betty and entering cash receipts. you?
Employee 1: listening to music and logging the deceased.
Employee 2: oh ok
Employee 1: our jobs are fucking awesome.